it's nearing the end of the year and it kind of saddens me. what exactly happened this yr? this year is definitely the year with the most tears (in my memory). well, i can't rmb how many times i've cried for EACH event. and, how much tears i've wasted. i don't know what's happening as well. WHY I CRY SO MUCH AH. i need to wake up my idea! ._.
well, i rmb crying over A level results cos i know i'll disappoint my parents.
crying over the job which i hated so much because of that SOAB. i think i blogged about this earlier in the yr.
and after getting a new job, crying over the 委屈 i got there. all the unfair treatment and some disgusting bootlickers.
then, crying over having to stay in hostel and all the arguments with my brothers. i was really reluctant to stay. i mean, I STILL AM.
continuing, being so disgusted with hostel life and stressful sch life, sometimes my tears just rolled down uncontrollably. i rmb that time, my bro refused to let my mum call me everyday in order for me to be more independent. hence, mummy didn't for a few days. i finally called her and dear tears just appeared again. i think my pillow from the hostel room has lots of tears lol.
oh oh but the one on my bed now has more.
within my family, there was some arguments earlier on and tears visited again.
thereafter, i got into a relationship and i believe a relationship involves much laughter, with inevitable tears. no?
too much too much.
and then i finally got to leave the hostel, exams ended, i can escape from school, take a break, live together with my family, meet my lovely friends, spend time with my dear poot.... now tell me where's my long deserved happy holiday?!?! x(
my exams ended like ard one week earlier than others, so i kind of stoned for a week before i got to meet my lovely friends. i planned to do many things and meet a lot of pple during this holiday. what's wrong with this dec! so many negative things happening. how can how can.
things always happen when you least expect it. i was expecting an awesome holiday, but no. i was expecting beautiful things to happen, but no. i wasn't expecting anything bad to happen to anyone, but yes.
i've learnt to lower my expectations and be prepared for the worst.
it works! beautiful things started to happen then. or probably it's because i didn't find those things beautiful back then.
if not for this incident, i don't think daddy and i will sit down and talk. and i suddenly rmb those times when he used to piggyback me from the bedroom to the living room lol. he used to drive me from sch to the mama shop to buy ice cream and then pick mummy up from her workplace after tt. the ice cream got include free stickers one! that was kindergarten man. i miss those times.
i guess my family's more bonded due to this incident as well. every cloud has its silver lining huh.
there is not enough time. i want to spend hours and hours with each and every close friend. every friday night with tomatoes, walking round and round TK with pipi - middle finger hooked, 18chefs with ylm, mugging sessions with nn all ard the east, tuesdays with laoxue, days in MBS with yy, jiejie, lw and friends, neverending phonecalls with steady.. true friends are hard to find. can i just keep them with me? if i can, i'll get a super huge mansion and all of my loves shall have a room each! :D
poor poot just extracted his tooth out ytd and he's having fever now. things just keep happening. i don't know what i can do to make him feel better.
i feel so useless when all i can say is "take care ah. drink more water." "don't do this this this, that that that." "sleep more, rest well." be it to my dad or poot or anyone. well, i know saying those can't take any pain off them. but i don't know how else i can help, what else i can do.
and my hair keeps falling non-stop.
真失败.
i want daddy to get well, i want grandma to get well, i want poot to get well, and i need everyone to be healthy!
i merely want a happy holiday.
