bonsai_

yes bonsai. i'm not supposed to come online and blog today but i can't hold it anymore. i'm not going to talk about happy or funny or entertaining stuffs so dun have to read it. thanks.

i really don't know how the bonsai am i going to like chem and do well for chem at this rate. it's so demoralising, if he realised. i bet he don't. it's NOT the prob with kids nowadays being haughty and arrogant with high self-esteem and can't be scolded or whatever bonsai. just that, i don't like to be said at for things that aren't true. eg.not making effort, don't bother about the subject.

you think that ONLY sports cca or cca going through competitions are busy? don't try to say that my seniors from guitar did well despite their hectic schedule. diff pple will have diff outcome and i can't handle stress and manage my time as well as them. i suck at both. perhaps i'm just more dumb. can? all those bonsai stuffs that you're repeating every mon make me feel disgusted. like how i told NN b4 chem tutorial, i knew i'll be emo when the lesson's over. i nv knew he's so power to make me emo at the START of the lesson. cool yea.

so you think repeating stuffs and repeated nagging and demoralisation can really motivate us and force us to buck up? it doesn't work for all ok. maybe some will really wake up BUT i'm so sorry, it didn't really work on me. if your purpose's to make me get so sad over my tests results and get so devastated and frustrated over my dumbness, you'd succeeded. should i congratulate you?

however, i don't think you're such a tutor. i know u just wanna wake us(me) up and force us to start working hard. you have good intentions but i guess ur approach's wrong. u'd wasted ard 20mins today, trying to trigger that buck-up-gene. i don't think you can be MORE disappointed than me, can you? who the bonsai will want that kind of bonsai results, and be mocked at? my very own frens might just be laughing at me behind my back. i mean who knows? results don't just appear and shoot up overnight. i don't have that kind of intelligence. i really wonder why am i in TJ. i totally feel stupid over here. everything just don't seem to go smoothly. BONSAI!

i really need to cry or i'll go crazy someday. my bottle is alr full, overflowing. i feel uncomfortable. quick! make me cry! i really need to cry, soon.

he says we shouldn't just spend time on sleeping, should revise work, do TYS, do tutorials and study. excuse me, you think i'm powerpuff girl? even the powerpuff girls need to sleep! guitar practices are very tiring as well ok. go experience it yourself. haaaa. the last thing i wanna know is that he reads my blog. =.=

i feel useless. i'm getting so affected over lil lil things. like, unable to understand the econs essay question after reading it a few times. like, pple laughing so loudly behind me. maybe i'm hallucinating that they're laughing at me. goodness, tt's pretty traumatising ehh.

BONSAI! I NEED TO SCREAM! I NEED TO CRY! FREAK! SAVE ME! BRING ME GO RIDE A TRISHAW! I NEED A BREAK! I WANT A KINDER BUENO! I NEED A BIG BIG HUG! I WANT A PAT ON MY HEAD, TELLING ME IT'S OK! I WANT SATURDAY TO COME, NOW! T.T

sorry for the emoness. sorry my dear frens! i don't mean to emo and affect you all! thanks NN and YLM! BIG BIG LOVE!:D

YLM: our crying session will come soon, maybe on concert day, after concert? jiayou my dear^^

等哭完我就会回家,眼泪我会替自己擦..