emo and a corner of happiness_

the title is by NN ok. i won't think of such a lame, oh i mean innovative title man. :D and a corner of happiness is about beloved NN! yes NN, you shall take the top corner this time round alright? always place you at the bottom, HOW CAN?! ok now everyone knows this post is about YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU........hurhur. NN and i walked to school this morning. actually we walk to school together every morning!xD and we spent a day in school. then, we ate fries with cheese at ljs after school. it was so filling and we're satisfied. ok stop thinking about the oil and friends:D we had a great time today! HA HA HA. lousy description. err basically she's loving me more than she thought she did. :/ alright don't roll your eyes! so to sum up everything, we love each other alot but we're not lesbians! we're just, more than friends. :x
hello NN, such a perfect paragraph just for you!:)

yes one more happy thing. i can msg again tmr! it's a brand new month and i have 1000 free msges to spare yo! alright NN, ylm and friends! fret not! for i can msg again! woooooot. xD

so i shall move on to emo stuffs alr. not really feeling emo. i'm supposed to be feeling sad and unhappy and emo and all the nuts yet i'm not! err it's about the exams results anw. i guess i'm too used to all these bonsai and just...maybe immune to them. but then! the thing is usually i'll get so worried and have the motivation to study and work harder. YET I DONT FEEL A THING NOW! i'm still happily watching dvds and having happy chats with NN! i'm pretty afraid that i've alr given up hope. then i might just go mr bean to work. they're hiring leh! :x
anw, my brain is real worried but my heart and body don't seem to care. am i okay? do i need a shrink? bonsai. i'm totally in the holiday mood.
莫名其妙! i did study. i studied throughout the hols! i really did. i don't care if there're pple staring at the screen laughing now. i tried to study alr. i sacrificed my entire hols for this damn bonsai exam, yet i think i'm getting worse results. maybe it's the effort. not enough effort? i'm living in self-denial.
i don't want to blog anymore.

on a random note, i don't like school. i love my friends!:D

i'll go see kitty's blog now!:)

大家好_

感觉上很像很久没有 blog 了.. 突然心血来潮, 想用华语诉说自己的心情.

不知为什么, 最近压力越来越大. 虽然年中考试过了, 但是心中的压力丝毫没有减少. 害怕自己, 家人 and 老师失望, 所以不断告诉自己我没有尽力. 世界好奇怪, 我也好奇怪..

我害怕失去拥有的一切. 我也不想隔天醒来发现身边所有的人, 事, 物都消失,不见了. 我应该会哭死吧.

人心难测. 但是路遥知马力, 日久见人心.

心里好乱. 谁能救救我?

blogging day 7_

HELLO HELLO! i totally feel like i'm the most fortunate kid on Earth! 19th june 'o8-the BEST day out of my 18yrs!! and hey! it isn't too bad to be 18! perhaps it's my bday and many good and lucky things started to fall on me!! HENG UNTIL CANNOT. i'm the most xin fu xiao hai(18 yrs old cannot be xiao hai meh?!) in the world!! i'm still very very happy now.. i think i did lots of good deeds in my previous life. :D

ok and it all happened 2 days ago.. noticed my previous post? YA THAT WAS WHEN THAT STUPID YY SENT ME A MSG SAYING THEY'RE NOT CELEBRATING WITH ME ALR. saying that yw is grounded and they wanted to mug. i was so damn disappointed k. cos i was looking forward to this day since i don't know when. and when expectations get high, the disappointment gets larger. and that's why i spent the night crying. =.= very nice leh they all. made me emo for a day. and i was hoping that they're pranking me and it's all just be a dream! GOODNESS! hopes DO come true man!:D carry on hoping, it might become true! so that previous emo post is NOT valid. those liars.

ok and i don't know how long and how much effort they spent to plan this. they can go get the best actress award alr. golden horse award. esp ylm can. TSK! NN cannot get LOL. ok at least you didn't spill toooo many beans. thanks leh.. all the msges are so nicely collaborated. yada yada. making me think that only ylm and NN are celebrating with me, and i'm not getting any presents today. tsk! busy hor you all?

and then both of them called me at 12am to conference and sing a bday song to me. it's quite horrible. HAHA i mean it's so nice and i can't wait to hear them sing it again!! heh heh.

yes and the actual day!

left home and went to meet NN on the bus. as in i board the bus first and she'll board at her stop. she almost missed the bus! wei da de her risked her life by walking fast in heels just by catching up with the bus! GAN DONG!!

ok and here comes ylm msging me that she overslept and she'll be late. i mean obviously i'll believe her since she always does that. HAHA. and NN and i sashayed to MOS and prepared to mug. ok great. ylm strolled in and sat down. pretending to be normal.

ok come to think of it, everything seems so dumb now. all the msges and acts. HAHAHA!:D

and we took a few multi-shots and she randomly said, " let's go fish-and-co and have lunch!" cool. MOS is at the basement and fish-and-co's upstairs, so we have to walk up the stairs.

halfway through, they suddenly said they want to blindfold me and bring me somewhere else! wah drama! i was so reluctant but i have no choice.

they forced the piece of paper(NN forgot to bring the blindfold) onto my face and drag me up the stairs. it was so paiseh! fancy getting a piece of WHITE paper stuck onto your face and two guardian "angels" escorting me up the stairs into fish-and-co.

and we stopped and i heard some familiar voices. they took the piece of paper away and OHMYGOODNESS! all the bimbos are seated bimboly there alr and they started to sing a bday song for me!! DAMN BIG SURPRISE! ultra touched. ya and naturally, i teared. goodness you pple don't know how touched i am! T.T

everyone at fish-and-co was like staring at me alr. in order not to malu myself more, i sat down quickly and they started throwing presents at me! TAOYAN! they're giving me extreme emotions can! one moment no friends no presents! another with LOVES AND PRESENTS! yay!

and we started taking pictures and have our lunch and gossip(yw's fav!).
the most normal looking one, really.


madness.


just look at those 2 behind.


yy's trying to chop me.


dumb candid. all thanks to ylm.


FOUR!

FIVE!

some extra at the left just loves to spoil the picture by showing her megawatt smile. heh.


BIMBOS!


not very obvious that we trying to kiss right?


shucks! call police! she's trying to murder me!


ME WITH THE ULTIMATE BIMBO! she's sherly!


hello she's han's!! she's a rubbish bin and she eats everything! really lol.

*gasps* ylm is weird.


oh the food! my new york fish and chips.

yy's really damn happy to see her food arrive!


yy's eating!

and eating!

and eating!!~~


yw's bag yo. i just realised she puts her armpit at the hole where my face is. SHUCKS!

LOOK AT YLM! caught in action can. trying to slap me!! call police again!

ya and i don't know how they communicate with each other and the staff there. we were taking photos where SUDDENLY(again) they started to sing the very special song again and i saw a yellow rectangular piece of substance with a stick with a flame on it sticking out moving towards me in the staff's hands. SURPRISING! it's like the first time such thing happens to me. it feels like a dream.


hello it's THAT mango cake that i said it's freakin' nice in tm!! i have meticulous friends with great memory man! ylm got that cake and quarrelled with her mum cos of it. LOL see how WEI DA she is!

and she don't eat mango!! O.o

everyone enjoys the cake!!:D
NN!

YW!

and lao niang. :D

ylm's bored. she loves me!


hey we got 10% discount cos it's my bday lor! so auspicious. and this seok soh being as auntie as ever, took out her calculator and starting calculating for us hahaha! no image.


yada yada..we went arcade after that! too bad they don't have the spot-the-diff game LOL.^^


and then to teo heng!! i'm so touched! i got to sing on my bday!! it's like, wow! i'm enjoying my hols on this day only. and i guess this day is SUFFICIENT to cover all. ylm and i sang that hokkien song(sua tiong huay) again and that noob made me laugh like hell as usual. she's so irritating! should have recorded. ok she claimed that she mastered the song alr. i guess tt's her fav song now HAHA! song2!^^ and NN was like damn high throughout the whole singing session lol. it's fun to observe her!
the insisted full-length photo.


me and yy la tsk.


long hands. MY LOVESSS!!^^


MY DARLING AND I!:D

alright and it was time to go home. we took a cab and i took bus8 from ylm's house. and then when it was at tp, my pri sch friend, jackson, board the bus. so qiao. hello jackson. are you reading this? HAHA! :D

i'm really really super duper ultra mega extremely touched by you girls today!! it's the first time i'm having such a HAPPY birthday in my life! got surprises got cake got present got fun got love got YOU GIRLS! i can't express well in words but i'm sure you all can feel my touchedness and blissfulness LOL. i can feel the effort, the time, the love from all of you!! simply a few thank yous are definitely not enough to express my gratitude and how much i appreciate you pple and today. really, tj is wonderful cos of you girls! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!! MUACKSSS! *HUGS TILL ALL OF YOU SUFFOCATE!*


ok time for steady!!! YO STEADY! steady's the FIRST to wish me on msn, blog, tagboard and friendster! and last to wish me today! she thrashed kenneth lol. she's on time for sms! ok i'm so proud of her! she can really multitask HAHAHA! STEADY I LOVE YOU!! thank you so much! you made my day:D yes yes thanks les too. (do i sound very mian2 qiang3? HAHA NO LA!) STEADY SEE YOU SOON!!!!

i have to mention about some kkb by the name of zheng yiting here. she's so gooondoo. at 12plus am, the msges i received are all wishes. and then she happily sent me a msg asking me "if sat rain how ah?". so irritating! she totally forgot that it's my bday ok. and the next morning then she rmbed. like not the first time alr. that noob. and she'll bring up that two-yrs-ago-she-was-the-first-to-wish-me thing. buay paiseh sia! nevertheless, i still love her! i'm so wei da. HAHA:D I LOVE THE TOMATOES AS WELL! see you pple on sat!!^^

this whole day is like filled with surprises. i'm on cloud18 alr. lp called me at 11 plus pm and sang me a self-composed bday song HAHA! ok sorry i can't stop laughing but it's really very nice! THANK YOU LP!! you're the best!:D

YES and my kitty!:D thanks for accompanying me for the whole day! being so sweet to me and making me feel even more loved!! i can feel that our friendship will last for very long. ehh no we aren't friends. you're my pet! you're being owned by me HAHA!! taoyan!:D

ok and what really touched me alot is that this yr's the FIRST ever yr my bro bought me a bday cake on his own accord! i just opened the fridge and WOW! a cake.

lolol i feel so xin fu. really! even my family's celebrating with me you know! in the past, it's always me bugging my mum to buy a cake for me. a very delicious choc banana cake!


a very heartwarming act of my family. i know they all love me alot! ok we all love the family alot, just that we're tooo paiseh to show it. HAHAHA I LOVE HOME! I LOVE FAMILY! woohooooo!:D :D :D

a zillion thanks to all of you!!

my dream bday celebration! my dream 18th bday! everything came true! unexpected surprises, heartwarming wishes. if only time stops today. life's tooo good. and i'm lovin' it! heck doom's day!:D

envious that i have such awesome friends(more than friends) and family?! now i can confirm that i did tonnes of good deeds in my previous life!:D

may it just be a dream_

oh great.. maybe i shouldn't look forward to it so much. the disappointment is much greater than i expected.

now who should i blame to make myself feel better?

two more_

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY ON 15TH JUNE, SUNDAY! sorry i didn't blog this on time.

i love my papa! my fav food's my papa's home-cooked food!

we were watching the 9pm drama earlier on and the dad in the show was yelling at his children. and i turned to my bro and said if papa was to yell at us like this, i think i'll laugh. xD

yes, my papa don't yell at us. he'll only nag at us when we didn't tell him to buy lunch for us when we're home for lunch. =/

anw i love my mama as well but since it's fathers' day then I LOVE PAPA!! :D

goodness, i can never ever have the courage to tell him this personally. it's just too awkward.

i felt quite bad for not being at home during the cake-cutting. BUT NOT ENTIRELY MY FAULT RIGHT. qi guai. i was out to mug and mum just called me suddenly. i can't just pangseh NN and rush home.

but i still don't feel good. like the whole family without me! who won't be sad?! :(

anw ylm, NN and i went to mac to mug earlier in the day and there's this ultra CUTE lil boy there! i swear he's damn cute! probably the cutest toddler, after me. HAHA ok kidding. *rolls eyes on behalf of ylm* O.o

right he's cute to the extreme! he smiled at me so very often! he enjoys playing with us! alright he's just super cute with his megawatt-melting smile and his hair and his actions and his body language and his facial expressions and his "googoogaga"s and he da bianed there. he kept trying to escape from his mum's arms and i deduced that his name must be "wei1 long2". tao2 xue2 wei1 long2. :D

AHHH I LOVE THAT BOYBOY! :D

i don't know why but i don't feel like talking to anyone else on msn. that explains why i don't appear online as often these few days. maybe the emoing season is here..

anw, june seems to be the break-up season, where numerous couples break-up. quite true ehh. and i thought it's supposed to be a lucky season since my big day's in june? it'll be the joyous month!! HUAT AH! :D

i think i should go off alr. nothing else to do. why so bored? goodnight. :D


are you thinkin' of me, cos i'm thinkin' of you..

friday the thirteenth_

how many of you actually realised that it's fri the 13th today? did anything unlucky or weird happened?? well i didn't know until i see my friend's msn nick reminding everyone. =.= anw, since i'm here to blog about this, i'll sure have something to share right? taoyan. it's only 2.34pm now yet i'd alr encountered something. wth.

ok anw, it's about my dream ytd night.. it was so happening. it goes like this......
the scene was at bedok reservoir mac(i went there for the past two days to study from 10am to around 6pm). i think i'm going mad alr. dream also will dream of mugging place.

ok anw, i was ordering food and i don't know why i took so long to do so. anw i think i ordered filet-o-fish and a newly introduced(in my dream) potato-chips.(as in not those potato chips but potato-chips. =.= nvm.) then the person was asking if i want milk. ok thats not the climax.

so after that, i left mac and wanted to cross the road like lunlun(yes i mean jay-walk). and i saw that there's no cars so i stepped out. SIA LA and i don't know how but the road suddenly became very very far apart so i couldn't finish crossing the road in time and many cars came zoooming towards me! KIA SEE LANG! i really felt the pressure man. but i managed to get over to the other side so i'm still here blogging. heh.

anw, the climax's here! i saw one of my classmates(yicen. =.= of all pple.) riding a bike across me. i didn't care and continued walking. then suddenly she chased after me and said she'd knocked into someone! wah so sudden. so i followed her to the victim and i saw a man lying on the pavement with his head in a POOL OF BLOOD! DAMN GROSS! :O as in i really saw the blood the man the broken head and all. *GASPS*

so i asked her to call the ambulance and she was so reluctant(cause she thinks that the police will catch her and throw her into the calaboose). then i persuaded her by saying we're calling 995 not 999. yada yada. the weird thing is, i think we're laughing at the poor victim.. damn sadist. =.=
alright and i woke up, somehow.

traumatising. tt's why i've decided to stay at home today despite the deafening construction work here.

how? i'm going to be 18 alr. imagine 19 going on 20. argh that sucks. don't want to think alr.

i miss my fringe. i'm back to spikes. shucks. okok HAIR WILL GROW.

alright guess i'm going back to study cha guan in case ylm nags at me again. *rolls eyes*
heh heh heh hello ylm! happy studying yo. :D

when all goes left_

it's kind of sucky when your close friends are not in s'pore on your bday. suckers.

it's damn shitty when you know that you may not enjoy your bday celebrations. shitters.

i don't like this.


so emptiness feels like this...

100th post-lucky or suay?_

you be the judge.

SUAY: YLM LOST HER PHONE!

HENG: WE CAUGHT THE THIEF THE VERY NEXT DAY!

SUAY: SHERLY LOST HER WALLET TODAY!

HENG: NN MANAGED TO CATCH A DALE FROM THAT MACHINE AND SHE GAVE IT TO ME!

SUAY: I WALKED THE WRONG DIRECTION AND WALKED 4km OF EXTRA DISTANCE!


HENG: HE TALKED TO ME TODAY AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME!
SUAY: HE MADE ME MISSED THE PAST!

HENG: CHATTED!
SUAY: OVERSLEPT THE NEXT DAY AND WAS LATE FOR TUITION AND PICNIC AND CAUSED ME TO WALK 4km EXTRA!


HENG: BOUGHT LOTS OF CHEAP BUT GOOD GOODS!

SUAY: WASTED LOTS OF MONEY UNNECESSARILY!

HENG: STUDIED EVERYDAY!

SUAY: SPENDING MONEY EVERYDAY!


HENG: SO MANY "SILLY"S RECENTLY!

SUAY: BUT NOT FROM MY BOYFRIEND(no bf pls)!

HENG: MY FRIENDS AROUND ME EITHER GOT ATTACHED OR FOUND THE RIGHT ONE!
SUAY: WHERE'S MINE?! lol i got NN!


HENG: MY BDAY'S COMING!
SUAY: EXAM'S RIGHT AFTER THAT!

HENG: I FEEL LOVED!!


so....lucky or suay?