i'm suffocating. i don't dare to say that i want to do things which i like, i just don't want to do things which i dislike. for the whole of this yr, i guess almost everything's against my wishes. it's so sickening and i'm suffocating so much i'm going to explode, and i exploded.
i don't really want to go nie, i don't want to stay in a hostel, i don't like camps, i don't like new environment which forces me to meet whole new pple and to the extent of leaving home. why can't i stay at home? why must i have to stay in hostel? i don't like! i don't like to quarrel with my family, i hate to shout at them. but i don't know why i just can't control myself.
i think whatever they say is so ridiculous that i have to rebut. then after shouting, i feel like shit cos i've never tried to let them understand what i'm thinking as well. i don't know how to communicate. i know my brothers and parents are doing things for my good but it's like against my will?
there's nthg i'm enjoying now, i'm even leaving home man tmd. packing things over these few days, saddening. i will miss home! i don't wanna leave home. i rather listen to my mum's nagging.. i've never left home for more than a week, seriously.
this yr sucks. i'm always making my family worried for me. and i thought providing for myself, not taking allowance from them is very noble. then i realised, it's no big deal. anyone can do so, i'm still making my family worry over the smallest things. they're always protecting me and i'm still living in my princess world.
my brothers helped me coordinate with the hall pple and asked me to attend hall camp cos they're worried that i will have no friends and no one can help me when i'm in need in hostel. i don't like camp, so we keep arguing over this matter. why can't i appreciate things from my family when i can be so grateful to my friend when he/she says "good luck" or whatever. siao gin na.
i don't know what i can do. my hair is not drying under the strong fan at all.
i really want to say sorry and thank you but i don't have the courage to. i feel so terrible.
我真的不想长大..
i don't really want to go nie, i don't want to stay in a hostel, i don't like camps, i don't like new environment which forces me to meet whole new pple and to the extent of leaving home. why can't i stay at home? why must i have to stay in hostel? i don't like! i don't like to quarrel with my family, i hate to shout at them. but i don't know why i just can't control myself.
i think whatever they say is so ridiculous that i have to rebut. then after shouting, i feel like shit cos i've never tried to let them understand what i'm thinking as well. i don't know how to communicate. i know my brothers and parents are doing things for my good but it's like against my will?
there's nthg i'm enjoying now, i'm even leaving home man tmd. packing things over these few days, saddening. i will miss home! i don't wanna leave home. i rather listen to my mum's nagging.. i've never left home for more than a week, seriously.
this yr sucks. i'm always making my family worried for me. and i thought providing for myself, not taking allowance from them is very noble. then i realised, it's no big deal. anyone can do so, i'm still making my family worry over the smallest things. they're always protecting me and i'm still living in my princess world.
my brothers helped me coordinate with the hall pple and asked me to attend hall camp cos they're worried that i will have no friends and no one can help me when i'm in need in hostel. i don't like camp, so we keep arguing over this matter. why can't i appreciate things from my family when i can be so grateful to my friend when he/she says "good luck" or whatever. siao gin na.
i don't know what i can do. my hair is not drying under the strong fan at all.
i really want to say sorry and thank you but i don't have the courage to. i feel so terrible.
我真的不想长大..
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